Lately, I’ve been so damn angry and annoyed. Like, I hate people sometimes. I’m starting to lose my faith in humanity. I guess that’s also why I want to be a teacher because I have this hope that I can instill good habits and values in my students. But.. I don’t know.
I feel like blogging so here’s some honest facts about myself:
1) I hate when people ask me who’s going to my event because to me, I should be enough of a reason to go. If the event has to be popular for you to go, you’re not there for the right reasons.
2) People interpret my assertive personality as rude and bossy. But honestly, I don’t give a shit. Because usually, one, they are jealous I thought of the idea, or two, they get defensive when I try to help. But in reality, I never ever, make a decision or a plan, without asking other people for their opinion. If you are not going to tell me what you really think, then I won’t know, I can’t read minds. Sorry, not sorry.
3) I love it when girls ask me “How can you not be jealous when Paul is out drinking? You never know what he’s doing out there.” Actually, I do know what he’s doing out there. He drinks with his boys, hits on other girls, and helps his buddies hook up with a girl by being his wingman. The whole time that he does that, he tells me and we laugh about it together. I rarely get jealous because one, I trust Paul with all of my being. I know that he knows his boundaries with the opposite sex. And I know mine, except with girls. I don’t have boundaries with girls lol. Two, I have a really high self-esteem, If you haven’t noticed already. I am everything Paul wants in a woman, making it useless for him to cheat on me.
4) People around me always tell me how awesome it is that I’m on track with school and work. Quite honestly, it scares the hell out of me. I’m scared that I’ll become the work crazed business woman. Even though I’m not doing business, I mean like, I’ll be that person that grows up and regrets not going to that one party or joining that one club. I’m scared that when I graduate and finish school, I won’t get hired. I’m scared I won’t be able to pay for a house and get the life that Paul and I have planned. The closer I am to graduate, the more I stress out about my life.
5) I’m not as strong as people perceive me to be. Deep inside, I am very sensitive. There are some things that I would rather not talk about or else I’ll cry or get super mad super quick lol. As I grew up,I ‘ve learned to control my emotions. My dad taught me to never show weakness.
6) No matter how good I am at something, it will never be enough for me.
7) I have to wash and lotion my hands and feet every night before I go to bed or else I’ll feel dirty and won’t sleep. It’s weird.
8) There are some people that when I look at them, I want to punch them in the face. But I just ignore them because giving them attention will only make them feel better about themselves. It’s also takes a lot to make me hate someone, so congrats if I hate you.
9) My eyesight is getting worse. Went to the optometrist today and she told me I’m getting old and my eyesight will slowly get worse. I’m not even 21 yet, wtf.
10) There’s only one more thing that I want in my life.. and even that’s too much to say on tumblr lol.
Off to bed. Gotta teach youngsters in the morning. Too lazy to go back and check what I wrote. Oh well.